It is common sense to ask the right questions before making life-altering decisions. Although people usually do this before considering marriage, it is not always the case when considering divorce.
It is mostly due to the emotionally charged and stressful state of mind the people are already in when they finally decide to end this chapter of their life that they forget the consequences their decision will have. It is a decision that will not only alter their lives but also involves the lives of many others around them.
It is not a decision that can be taken on a whim. It is not easy to come back from. Nancy Colier, a psychotherapist in Manhattan considers this a mistake. She says that even if the ultimate decision is to dissolve the marriage, asking the right questions before contacting a lawyer or mediator, and perhaps with the assistance of a marriage counselor, may prove worthwhile.
So there are a few things you should consider before you make the final step towards divorce. After you have asked yourself these questions and decided to get the divorce to feel free to contact skilled divorce attorneys who can counsel you through this difficult time. Having experienced attorneys can always ease the transition from your married life to the new life you are going to start.
1. Certainty
While this may seem obvious, the most important thing to consider before a divorce is that you are certain that you want a divorce? Have you communicated your concerns with your partner fully? Sherry Amatenstein, a marriage therapist in Manhattan and Queens and the author of books on relationships says that “You may think that you have communicated, but your partner may not have heard”. She says “Research shows that people hear only between 30 to 35 percent of what is said to them because we’re so full of ‘I’m going to say this to them.’”
If you are not making your concerns heard, then your partner might not know them. If you feel like your partner’s priority is not you, then make them clearly understand your feelings. You will not want to regret not communicating after the divorce. So it is better to make your stand clear. You might also want to ask yourself whether you can live without your partner?
Do I still love my partner? Have I made my feelings clear? How dependent are you on each other? Am I ready for the consequences of this decision? Are you thinking rationally and reasonably? Is divorce the better option? After you have thought about and exhausted these possibilities and made sure that your relationship is not going anywhere but towards the end, then you can move towards contacting the divorce attorneys.
2. Interview Attorneys
It is a better choice to look for divorce attorneys before you file for divorce. You will want to hire an attorney who can adjust according to your needs and who can understand you and your goals for the legal action.
It is better to avoid lawyers who start giving you solutions preemptively without completely listening to and understanding your problems. Skilled divorce attorneys at companies like orlandodivorcelawyers.net have over 25 years of experience and can give you the peace of mind you desire. So choose someone that has the experience to help you.
3. Consider Financial Decisions
You have to face the fact that divorce is not only related to emotions and the relationship between you and your partner. One of the major things you have to consider during divorce proceedings is money. It is quite an expensive process with paperwork and hiring and attorney amounting to quite a bit. Ms. Colier advises thinking about the financial as early in the process as possible.
She elaborates, “That means meeting, if you can, with a financial adviser, talking to lawyers and writing down what this is going to cost. There is so much that is going to change — and so much fear. It’s important to feel grounded with as many financial facts as possible. You’ll feel safer that way.”
It is better to acquire all the relevant financial documents before you file for divorce. It may not be easily accessible due to a hostile spouse during proceedings. You also need to consider your living situation. If you were sharing your spouse’s apartment, you will probably need to move out, so you will need to consider this cost, too. If you have children, then you must also consider the cost of raising them. In addition, if you have filed for sole custody, you might be thinking about changing both your child’s last name as well as yours. You’ll need to contemplate the cost of a legal name before making your decision. For example, if you live in California, EZ Name Change mentions that the cost ranges from $525 (if you do it yourself) to $715 (if you hire name-change specialists to handle the process for you). Are financially prepared to undergo all these changes?
4. Thinking about Children
The custody of children is at the forefront of any divorce. You should know that, barring exceptional situations, you and your spouse will end up sharing custody of the children. It is a better idea to review your children’s schedule and compare it with your own and consider other obligations that come with the custody.
Going through a divorce is going to be one of the most emotionally draining and stressful processes for you and more so for your children. It is good for both you and your children to create a support group with your close friends or family members to better handle the emotional toll from the divorce.
If you can afford a therapist for your children and yourself, then do it. Otherwise having a good listening ear can help you ease most of your tensions. Humans are social animals and they react better to extreme situations when they have someone to rely on. The support group not only provides a healthy coping mechanism for every individual involved in the divorce process.
Conclusion
So if you have finally decided to part ways with your spouse and end your marriage for good, then it is better to be prepared both emotionally and physically. Due to the stressful nature of the process gather the people close to you cause you need their help to whether this storm and feel free to contact the skilled and experienced divorce attorneys.
Nicola Holder 