Marriage is an association between two people that is formed out of love. It happens to be one of the most beautiful and exciting episodes if taken with care.
Marriage can never happen if two people do not agree to come together, have a common goal, and enjoy being in this world together. Many times, people misconceive this relationship to the extent that they end up in divorce.
Mostly, we watch movies that are matrimony oriented, and most of them portray happiness, joy, and prove that marriage is the best thing that a couple would ever wish to have.
Often people get used to each other, start forgetting the good things they did together and with no time, disagreements step in. As the rift continues, the thoughts of divorce become eminent to a level that the couple is not in a position to look at each other eye to eye.
According to OnlineDivorce, choosing to divorce is not the best option. It is mind-blowing, financially constraining, and children are left with more questions than answers. It is at this time that there is a need for one of the partners to think of how they can save the marriage at the brink of divorce. It may look impractical in most cases, because of the ego that we hold in our relationships. However, it is a sure thing that even at the brink of divorce, marriage can be reinstated once again, and the relationship starts to be fired up once more.
Couples may have questions and even visit counseling sessions whereby they let the counselor know that the marriage is at the brink of divorce. At times counseling may not help. But it all starts with the partners, to make sure that the wounds that are causing the separation are sealed and healed with time.
According to mensgroup.com problems that bring unhappiness in family status are many and most cases similar and sharing your information with a close friend or relative could be a road path to saving your marriage.
Below are some of how one can save a marriage on the brink of divorce.
- Change the attitude towards your marriage– Many are the times that we are driven by ego and cannot step down because the other party wronged you. It is not necessary to be a catalyst to the fire that is already lit and burning. Complete Case gives a tip: “Analyze yourself and change the behavior for the sake of your family. Take action on your emotions and learn to control them. Remember that you are both different and born with different attributes that determine your future — purpose to love the other party unconditionally and with humility.”
Within no time, smiles will come back, and the house will be full of warmth once again.
- Reflect on the past and evaluate if there is any reason to save the marriage– Think about the times that you shared love together, the weekend outing you strolled out holding hands, and try to imagine such circumstances back in life.
No matter how painful the issue could be, you have the authority to turn the tables down for the better. Send a message to your spouse and remind them of your first love, ask for a date, and make sure that you show perfect love when you get a chance.
We are creatures that look forward to being loved, and when your spouse finds that you need him or her, the initial love that existed between both of you will grow again.
- Consider mediation–A therapist is a trained professional who can bridge the gap between both of you and help to save the marriage. At times, it may seem very hard to accept that all can be well, but once a counselor takes up the issues, listens to both sides, then bringing the two together would be more comfortable than thinking of instances of breaking the marriage.
- Avoid blame games– Imagine of circumstances where, if anything at home goes wrong, you start blaming each other for the wrong reasons. For the sake of reconciliation, learn to take up the blame, seal the rifts that would have taken place. Otherwise blaming your spouse will only make things more painful and tougher than expected.
Since it is hard for both parties to come together and agree to save the marriage, take up the burden, and humble your pride for the sake of your reunion.
- Stop Comparing your Marriage– We are all born different, and in the same case, marriages and homes are diverse. If your neighbor buys a brand new car, do not raise fights in your house demanding for a new car. No, it is not a competition. The grass will never be greener in another family’s marriage than yours.
Remember the unique character that made you love your spouse when it was love at first sight and learn to appreciate them for that distinctive personality that they have.
Your marriage will eventually become a haven that will be admired by many.
- Forget about the past sins and forge forward for a better future.
One of the common mistakes that couples make is to rake upon past mistakes. They keep reminding their partners of those mistakes rather than focusing on the future. This again is a catalyst to anger which should be avoided at all costs. When the marriage is at the brink of divorce, and you have the initiative to save it, do not remind your partner of the past mistakes.
In most cases, it will erupt fights and quarrels, which is not a necessary affair.
- Consider evaluating yourself and check if you are honest.
Being honest is a virtue that is hardly accepted by human beings; we tend to think ill of others which may not necessarily have been the case. For instance, if your partner comes in late after work, the only thing to think about is that he or she was out committing adultery. This should not be the case.
There is a need to learn to be patient with each other, understand the reason for the actions rather than remaining on a defensive edge which would only erupt quarrel, pain, and eventually divorce.
Imagine an instance where your spouse had a very challenging day, the books of accounts in the office failed to balance and rather than offering a welcome note, more stress is added to the person’s life.
If you evaluate yourself, you will then consider to be fair to your partner and allow him/ her to share out the day’s challenges, offer a temporary situation to relieve the day’s outcome. This will be by no way a healing process to a stressful marriage. Your partner will find a shoulder to lean on and become soft on the issues that are contested at home.
- Tackle issues as they arise in your marriage.
When couples assume that all is well and avoid talking out their problems, they end up building long term problems that can erupt one day and end up in divorce.
To avoid such issues, never pretend that all is well, in a bid to keep away from arguments. Speak out with wisdom, and if the spouse does not change immediately, then exercise patience which is a powerful tool to save a marriage.
Ensure that as time goes by, you get a solution towards the grey issues in your marriage. Involving a counselor can do a great deal such that the problems do not have to recur since you got a solution from past experiences.
Always involve your partner as you make such decisions and keep trying until it happens.
- Walk-in your Spouses Shoes.
This could be challenging. Imagining that you are the one asking for a divorce, yet deep inside yourself, you are not convinced that your marriage should come to an end is not fun.
However, for the sake of both the marriage and the parenting needs, consider digging deeper and understand why your spouse needs a divorce.
When you get to the root cause of the matter, understand why he needs the divorce, and see if there is any solution to reverse the decision. This is a great way to save a marriage. As soon as you evaluate his ideas, consider making a step and taking responsibility for the wrongful acts from your side, it may appear harsh, but that is the best way to save the marriage.
- Take time alone.
When alone, it is an excellent time to reflect on how best you can do to save a marriage. You can opt to take a weekend holiday, lay down all issues that has caused the rift and purpose to make peace with your partner. Take a bold step once back and let your partner know that you regret your past actions and ask for forgiveness. The other partner would have been waiting for this moment and who knows? This would be a turnaround for a marriage that was at an edge.
- Date again.
It may look foolish but renewing your love for one another once again can be good medicine to a new journey. Think of what your partner loved most. For instance, listening to your sweet voice as you sang love songs. Sing them again and repeat to make fun of the situation. Take a holiday to the beach and have a fantastic week together. This is a perfect time to regain the intimacy that was once in existence.
Laugh together and share bedtime stories. It will be the beginning of the newly found love.
Conclusion
When the marriage is saved from breaking up, peace has been made, purpose to make new ground rules, this will ensure that there will be no repetition of the past mistakes.
If even after trying all these, it has not happened, consult a professional counselor, such as Thrive Downtown. Should the spouse have left the house, do not add pressure demanding for the counseling services. Give each other some time to cool the pains and slowly let a third party reach out on your behalf. It will be easy to make up for the marriage that when both of you are involved.
Nina Smith 
Kim Marks