Although the rate of divorce has been falling over the years, so did the rate of marriages. Still, in 2019, the U.S. has had a divorce rate of 2.7 per 1,000 people. In Colorado alone, there were 2.9 divorces per 1,000 inhabitants in 2020. This is why many individuals from the state had to hire divorce attorneys, and this page has more information on this if you’re in the same boat.
But what exactly leads to divorce? Why do couples decide to separate after years of living together, sharing their good moments and bad moments, and even having children? Knowing the causes of divorce may help you avoid this negative outcome in the future if you are married or you are planning to.
That being said, here are the 8 most common reasons for divorce.
1. No Communication
Perhaps you’ve heard it way too often now, but communication is one of the special ingredients for a happy marriage. You need to be able to communicate effectively with your partner – otherwise, you cannot expect your life together to be happy, especially in the long term.
It’s crucial not only to communicate but also to do it the right way. This means you have to talk about everything, including how your day was, the problems in the relationship, how to find solutions for the problems, and so on.
You shouldn’t yell at your partner or belittle them. Healthy communication methods are needed to make a marriage last – otherwise, everything will crumble. 67.5% of divorces actually happen because of communication problems.
Despite agreeing to unite their destinies forever, some partners do not stay loyal to their spouses. Infidelity is a problem that affects many relationships, and in most cases, it results in divorce.
Usually, people cheat when they feel like their needs are not met, or they simply cannot commit to a single partner for the rest of their lives. Whether this infidelity is emotional or physical, it ruins a relationship.
3. Frequent Arguments
Every couple will have arguments, but in some cases, these arguments become constant. Generally, an argument will start when there are issues in the relationship, with one spouse voicing this and the other spouse not listening or not working on fixing the issue.
Therefore, with one partner not seeing the other’s point of view or not being interested in fixing the problem, the issue will be addressed again and again, resulting in frequent arguments. This can lead to divorce after a while.
4. Substance Abuse
Substance abuse ruins not only the affected individual but also marriages. Many individuals end up divorcing their partner due to drug or alcohol issues.
The issue could not only lead to abuse in the relationship but also financial issues and the couple growing apart.
5. Domestic Abuse
A very sad reality is that emotional and physical abuse sometimes occurs in marriages. One of the spouses may become physically violent, or they may destroy their partner emotionally. The abuse victim lives in terror and is unhappy, which often leads to divorce.
Although one spouse may become an abuser due to past problems or deep emotional issues, this is no excuse, and nobody should tolerate being abused. It’s important to get help and leave the marriage safely in a situation like this.
A study conducted by the University of Denver researchers has revealed that 23.5% of the participants have divorced their partners after experiencing emotional and physical abuse. According to many subjects, the abuse was not something that just appeared all of a sudden after a period of happiness.
The abuse grew more and more as time passed by, becoming not only more frequent but also more intense. Therefore, if your partner abused you once and you decided to forgive them, chances are that the abuse could happen again.
6. Unprepared for Marriage
Believe it or not, a lot of couples who get married are not prepared for married life. Actually, about 75.0% of couples have declared that being unprepared for marriage was what ultimately led to their divorce. Couples in their 20s are the ones with the highest divorce rate.
7. Financial Issues
Money is necessary for a comfortable and stress-free life, but many couples often don’t have the best financial situation. When one partner makes less money than the other or has different spending habits, it can make the spouses struggle financially.
In the University of Denver study, it was revealed that financial problems were not directly responsible for the divorce, but the stress they caused was the trigger for the downfall in the end. Money issues can cause a lot of tension between partners, and often makes the spouses grow apart from each other.
Therefore, financial issues are some of the main reasons for divorce.
8. No Intimacy
Having no intimacy in the relationship can also often lead to divorce. Partners in a marriage can have different sex drives, or one partner may simply be more distant than the other. Although being intimate is not necessarily an ingredient that guarantees the success of the relationship, the lack of it can bring the end of the marriage after a while.
According to Newsweek magazine, 15-20% of couples have a relationship without sex. Less than 20% of couples younger than 40 reported having sex no more than several times per year. At the same time, 10% or less of the married people younger than 50 reported not having sex during the last year.
No intimacy in a relationship can cause one or both partners to feel rejected. But if sex is not possible for any reason, you can still be intimate in other ways. You can pay attention to your spouse and show your love through small acts of kindness. Things like saying “I love you”, holding hands, giving forehead or cheek kisses, and similar gestures can be very powerful.
There are many things that can lead to divorce, with some of the most common reasons being infidelity, lack of communication, financial problems, and domestic abuse. If you want your marriage to last, you should work hard to avoid any of the issues listed above.